Kickazzbitch

So I have asthma again and I tell you, it’s the pits man! I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! I can hardly breathe. It is not fun at all and costs a lot to get better. I wish I was born without this genetic defect but as luck would have it 50% of us in the third generation, meaning my cousins and sisters and me have it. I went to school today despite the hassle but my student was absent. AAArgh! Somebody shoot me now. Put me out of my misery.

I don’t normally talk about shows on this blog but I’d like to make an exception with CSI. I saw the first episode of the sixth season and I must say it’s cool. Seeing the first episode reminded me of why I like that show in the first place.

I loved the first scene of the gang back together. They were walking toward the crime scene in slow motion, Sara and Cath’s hair swaying in the breeze, Grissom looking all “leader-like” and Nick and Warrick looking hot with Greg looking like a cute labrador puppy. I don’t know why Greg brings out that feeling in me. He makes me want to pet him. hehe I can say more about the show like Sophia is back, looking hot after losing all that pregnancy weight also about how much I missed Doc Robbins, David and Hodges but the one person that I can’t really get out of my head is Warrick. What the hell?! You mean you got MARRIED? How could you Warrick, how could you? I thought we had something special going on? I thought you also felt your heart skip a beat everytime you caught a glimpse of me. I thought you were gonna ask me out. Why oh why, did you decide to tie yourself down? Why didn’t you ask me instead of Tina *spit flying all over? Okay I think I’ve channeled Catherine enough (channeled…yeah right). But seriously, I did pity Catherine in this episode. I loved that scene where Warrick confronts her about his marriage and she said that the good thing about a fantasy is that it could also come true. I did wonder about how she was going to answer Warrick’s question and I think that her answer was perfect. What can you say about the relationship when there was something there but was never really realized?

I think that every girl, woman out there can sympathize with her. At some point in our lives we have had that particular someone when we thought that something could happen and nothing ever did, probably because we didn’t want to make a move and neither did the guy and along the way we lost it. And what remains is the question, “what if”?

Things have been pretty hard financially with my grandparents and aunts at home. We have the land case, one civil, one criminal and two lawyers for each case. Plus my family has two houses in Silay, all with electrical, water and telephone bills. You can just imagine. I have also had to renovate some parts of the house because somebody will be renting it. It’s not that we’re getting poor, hehehe we’ve just had a lot of bills to pay these past two weeks. So I was really touched when they prepared a small dinner for me on my bday. It was just family and John. My grandfather killed one of the ducks he was raising and prepared it with my grandmother with their bare hands. (Brutal I know!) My two aunts cooked barbequed chicken and fried meat too. We also had macaroni salad and my bday cake for dessert. When I came home, everyone was busy and sweating. I helped out with the cooking. John babysat the kids. Nice of him, huh? My aunt’s fiance was there to help out too.As we sat down to dinner together, I can’t help but be touched. Our helper is on vacation and we haven’t been able to find another one so it really has been difficult with the chores and the kids at home. I understood how much effort it took for them to do everything and that really made me happy. I could feel my eyes water as my grandfather, who just recovered from pneumonia, said grace. It wasn’t much but so much better than a big party with five helpers preparing the food (which is what usually happens). I guess it’s always the simple things in life that are important, that we remember the most.

It was a good bday present. Sniff, sniff*

Just when I was getting used to the idea of a full-time job and law school, just when I’ve scouted out possible job prospects, written my resume and letter, prepared my picture, photocopied my transcript….my mom calls and tells me they’re paying for law school after all. mwahahaha! i feel like hitting my head against the wall! I don’t know whether I’m supposed to laugh or cry. The Powers That Be are playing a big joke on me and it is SO not funny. arrgh! I’m relieved that things are going to be okay now but also worried that another meltdown with my parents will result into another financial crisis. What to do, what to do? This is driving me insane ladies and gentlemen. I personally am not flaky at all. The circumstances in my life are changing faster than I can say ourpresidentisabloodyidiot. And I can’t do anything about it! Sigh*

On happier things, I turn 22 today. A year older, hopefully wiser, more mature, one year nearer to my death. Freud said so! “The goal of life is death”, he said. Ok, I’ll stop being morbid now. Had a great time at lunch. Enjoyed my “party” with John’s family and co-workers. I think of them more as friends actually. Got some free stuff so that’s good. hehehe Will have dinner later with my family here, grandparents, aunts, cousins. All extended I know. I’m sure my parents and sisters wish me a Happy Bday, too. I miss them truth be told. It’s wacky I know, but I do. Especially my sisters. I really hope I get a better year this year.

The good thing about getting disowned is that your parents don’t bother you anymore. The bad news is whatever plans you made with them goes out the window. I’m at a loss right now with how to deal with this estrangement. My dad promised to send me to law school. Right now, he and I aren’t even talking; same with my mom. I got this part time job so that I can earn money while in law school. Now after what happened, I don’t really wannna crawl back begging and groveling for tuition money. So yeah, I’ve to get a full time job. Sigh* I never really liked quitting, because its quitting and I’ve never quit at anything in my entire life except in my job (or should I say jobs). I hate it. I wish I didn’t have to do it. So I’m back on the job market and will have to submit my resignation when I get a full time job. It’s so frustrating sometimes, but as Nietzsche said, “What doesn’t kill me, only makes me stronger!” Amen. I drink to that!

Went out with Kathlyn, Sharmy and Franz (and John of course) yesterday. We had dinner at Brick Pit Grill. Saturday is the restaurant’s acoustic night and Phoebus Kin was playing. They totally rock! The lead singer is this pretty girl with an awesome voice. She’ll be singing with Hale in their upcoming concert on October 21 at USLS. I’m definitely gonna be waiting in line for that. Franz just broke up with her boyfriend of 9 years. It’s sad. But I guess when you look at the person you’ve been with and feel nothing, you gotta admit it’s time to call it quits. Maybe they’re better off with other people, or maybe they will get back together sometime in the future, but for now, I think Franz made the right decision to end the realtionship once and for all. There’s really no point staying in a relationship when you’re not in love anymore.

Aside from that, we were there actually to celebrate my birthday. I’m turning 22 this Sept.6 and although this hasn’t exactly been my year, as eventful as it has been, I’m still muddling through. I’m fine. I’m ok.

Joseph, the waiter was really nice. He reserved the table for us and everything. We gave him a big tip for it. We enjoyed the evening. Bevs (the lead singer) sang songs from Nina’s album, among other things. Her version of I love you goodbye broke my heart. We were there for about 3 hours. The place was lit with candles. The food was great. The service was great. Bevs was great. Do I sound redundant yet? She has a very powerful voice, soulful and expressive. I wish I had that voice. It’ll be a gold mine. hehehe

Anyway, the girls wanted to go to Mo2 so John and I droppped them off. The gift I got was this cute yellow clock with butterflies on it. I’m leaving in it John’s house though. He’ll finally have a clock up there. Although I suspect butterflies aren’t really his thing. Oh well, beggars can’t be choosers.