Board Meeting tomorrow and I’m busy making the reports. They are also having it at the millsite so I have to prepare our office. Eduard, my staff is doing that so that’s good. I can concentrate on the reports at the moment.
Have to drop by Julian’s later. Getting Jay to do my make-up and hair. Julian can’t make it to the wedding so were having Jay do it.
Don’t wanna go into details on the wedding or else this will look like my to do list. Hehe
Getting married is a big step, I know. But John and I have been through things together that most married couples can’t even understand. We have been through so much stress and loss the last six years just focusing on trying to be together that I guess we haven’t really thought about what will happen AFTER the wedding as much. It’s funny but true. I guess we have been living it one day at a time what with our schedules and priorities. There are things about John I absolutely detest like how he FORGETS very important things like schedules and how much money he has in the bank (come on!), and acts like my money is his money too (yeah right). I know it’s a WE, but i never realized how much money affected a relationship before. As my husband, he HAS to earn more than me. That’s a priority. I can’t respect a man who is not the primary breadwinner and I hate it that John thinks it’s ok. That’s the way it is with my parents and I always thought that that wasn’t fair. MY mother wasn’t much of a mother as much as she is the family financier. We probably wouldn’t be able to go to school with my mother working abroad.
It’s weird though how sometimes relationships aren’t even a question of love. It’s a matter of making it work, because of it. Love doesn’t solve problems. But it is what keeps us going. Relationship is about making compromises and knowing what you have together is more important than having your own way at something. It is very difficult to make decisions for 2 and as the eldest of 3 abandoned children, it is even more difficult for me to trust my future to someone else. I can’t just let it go in a snap. It is a reflex for me to think and decide for myself. It is hard to consider someone else’s opinion and doing that other person’s decision even if I don’t agree with it.
We’re working through it. I suppose this is what marriages are about. You know, in the movies we usually we see the credits after the wedding. I guess I’m gonna find out for myself what happens next. 