Okay, I am officially married for a month now. It certainly feels longer than that. Hahaha
I’ve been sick a lot since last weeek, and John has been the nicest husband taking care of me (even when I got bitchy bitchier) because of my illness. My doctors wanted to put me in the hospital but I didn’t want that. I wanted John to be able to work. I did not want my illness to interfere with our daily lives (even though I was on sick leave for a week). I don’t like being sick. I know I say that a lot, but I always mean it. I got upper respiratory tract infection and bronchial asthma. Nothing can keep my asthma from acting up and right now, a week later, I had to put myself on medication again because I am not getting better.
Emotionally I’m a rock. Physically, I’m a porcelain doll.
The slightest weather change results in me coughing like there’s no tomorrow, green phlegm with blood on it. Then my lungs would feel like they’re burning. Last week, my voice disappeared and with the above symptoms, John couldn’t sleep the first night because he was afraid I might stop breathing. It’s that bad. I don’t like telling people anything about my illness but there it is.
John knew what he was getting into when he married me, but still it amazes me sometimes no matter how scary it gets ( and I know when he’s scared), that he’s still there for me. Not just emotionally like most husbands would do, but actually taking care of me when I’m sick and too weak to go to the bathroom, eat or pee.
People always ask us why we have decided to get married this early and quite honestly, I don’t regret it and I never will. I’m in this for the long haul and frankly, nothing much has changed between John and me. I was never like those wives who discover something big and awful about their husbands after the wedding. It was never like that between us. Our marriage made us stronger as a couple because of the finality of it.Getting married was something we have thought about doing for years before we decided to take the plunge, and by then we knew it was inevitable.
I’m happy being married and if there’s one dim thought about all this is that, John will have to deal with sick ol’ me. It’s hard though living with an incurable condition. I’d like to spare my husband that but I can’t.